a year ago

[written 03/19/04]

hi

in a rush because i’m typing this during my ten minute break of my last (gasp!) archives class for the quarter but i just had to post the link to this great photolog [via etc etc] of same-sex couples that were recently wed in san francisco. the pictures are amazing! it just makes me smile so big to see these fotos..

i’ll definitely write more after class..

ok, i’m back. it’s decided: i am a very moody person. i realize that might not come as a revelation to many who know me, but to me, well surprise surprise! i love being busy but i loathe (and loathe is the right word here) feeling obligated, that i have no option, and/or that my time is not my own. and i hate being interrrupted when reading. i guess i’m still a kid that needs to grow up, because responsibilty = olbigations, doesn’t it?

my life has changed so much in the last year. a year ago, i was in a pretty unhappy (and smallsmall!) supposedly ‘communal’ living situation. i had two small loving cats, whereas a few months before i had had four small loving cats, which still depresses me to think about. i had applied to grad school but had little to no hopes of being accepted (i turned the application in almost a month late and my gpa was, i though, something like 0.8 below what was required). i was working at the archives already, but the situation was really tense and my position was so temporary-feeling that i was preparing myself when i got my paycheck every two weeks, that this paycheck could very well be the last. food-wise and health-wise, i was same as now, that is to say, not very healthy but not too bad either (don’t smoke, don’t drink, what do you do?). i was reading a lot and going to the library and just browsing for hours. i was going a few times every week to the ucla library to use their computers for free surfing the net for hours, with vacya sitting on the stool next to me. i was listening to music on a record player. i was biking around westwood, now and then, which i miss. i didn’t own or watch tv. or movies, except at friend’s homes. i was slowly dropping out of the various activist groups i had been involved in and wasn’t really hanging around activist spaces, meetings, or protests. i was doing a lot of dreaming and worrying a lot about money.

now, a year later? my living situation is pretty perfect and i feel like a dolt for not having done this earlier. i still have those two sweet cats, albeit one’s on a diet and the other is a big ol’ weirdo. ;P i got accepted to ucla and am now almost finished with two quarters of tough but great great! classes. i’m still at the archives and i’m still a temp, but i got a good raise a few months back (thanks to good talks from good friends) and i feel a lot more security depite my lack of official-ness. i don’t read as much as i used to, which about once a month bothers me to no end and i go to the l.a. public library and just freak out and get out like 30 books. i watch entirely too much tv! i’m a reality show nut and my inherently addictive personality (yikes) is going nuts, especially when anyone dares trying to converse with me when the commercial break is ending and the show is back on! ay. i have a super fast and brilliant laptop with a blazing (albeit expensive) dsl. i don’t really listen to records anymore since i haven’t set up the record player yet (my apartment really is just too small since i’m a packrat ( almost wrote ratpack)) and i barely use my cd player since i got my laptop and ipod. the only activism i do nowadays is research, whether online on this site, in papers for school, or in the material i handle at work. i still do a lot of dreaming and i still worry a lot about money.

me, me, me, it’s all about me. kinda boring for most people i bet. but highly instructive for me. i’m less moody now and much more stable and secure then i’ve been since at bryn mawr, say before senior year. but still, man, am i moody. it’s like clockwork: paper due? i’m biitchy. expensive car repair to schedule? i’m listlessly sad. then other times, it’s the little stuff that drive me crazy and sad to no end: insufferable unexplainable unfixable static on my favorite tv station during the final of some idiotic reality show? i’m insanely angry. mama cat meowing for food at 4, 5, then 6 o’clock in the morning, waking me up each time? i’m brattily scowling and muttering at her all night whilst tossing and turning. so. there you have it. i am not a fun person to be around, oh, say a lot of the time. dagnamit. but the other part of the time, i swear, i’m the funniest, most considerate, and super engaging person in the world. call me rollercoaster andrea.

i worked a bit on the bolivia section linked in the upper left-hand nav section. also, to that same nav section, i added movie shorts (can anyone think of a better name?) so that, once i take them off the index page, they’re still easily accessible. sound good?

i like openbrackets. “And you keep rocketing out of sleep in the middle of the night, shaken and dread-filled, and realize that you’ve been having dirty dreams about money.” indeed.

happy weekend,

andrea

p.s. it’s saturday afternoon now, just added some photos showing some stuff i’ve been doing lately..go to gallery