top of the wishlist: make bushieboy go away

[written 11/04/04]

first of all, that whole bush thing? i was in shock yesterday and was surprised that i felt pretty depressed all day. i had bad dreams and woke up hoping ohio’s numbers had miraculously changed overnight. later, a friend told me that these election results mean people have to become activists. i agree. but where to start, what’s effective, and how do i prevent the whole burn-out thing? ..
(update: depressed over seeing all those red states on the map? check out this purple haze. here too.)

next: oh, i’m as bad as the supermarkets that bust out with the christmas decorations the day after halloween.. but i can’t help it. there’s just so much pretty stuff lately that’s been grabbing my eye (ouch, kinda violent sounding, but you know what i mean):

  • ~ any yarn whatsoever from handpaintedyarn – i’ve heard the yardage is great, the prices so low, and the yarn itself a total dreamboat. hip-hip-hoorah for cheap nice yarn!
  • ~ blissen’s 54-week datebook (and jill bliss’ soon-to-be-published native flowers journal. so pretty!)
  • ~ a pashupatina necklace, #191 and #200 are my absolute favorites (#190 is gorgeous too)
  • ~ nikki mcclure’s 2005 calendar
  • ~ membership to beautiful (and very expensive) kntting magazine rowan
  • ~ this gorgeous expensive address file (though on second thought, just look at it. isn’t it pretty? but wayy too expensive – i’d rather buy me some books :)
  • ~ any of these crewel kits by wool & hoop

we have this rule at my house growing up that you cannot buy things for yourself before christmas since, invariably, the one thing you get is what someone else is planning to buy you or, even worse, already bought, wrapped and placed under the christmas tree. it’s a good rule, but i don’t know how long i can hold out.

i banged my head so hard so hard last night, i literally saw stars and felt an immediate bump grow on the back of my head – it felt like i was in a cartoon. there’s something very sad about getting hurt when alone. the cats were freaked out by my loud yell and moaning as i gripped my head, so they don’t count. but, with tears welling up from the pain (and self-pity, i confess) i called a friend and his sweet concern calmed me down immediately. aren’t people so silly?

not to sound too ominous/ambitious, but i think (and hope) big changes are coming up for me. i’ve been thinking about what i want to do and where i’m going with what i am doing, professionally that is. it’s all still very much up-in-the-air. sorry for sounding so vague, but it’s part of “the plan” to get balance and long-term dreams into my life so i thought i’d mention it.

also, website-wise, i’ve been trying to figure out for a while what exactly i’m hoping to accomplish here, and for whom. this whole thing started out to have a set of links online so i wouldn’t have to carry bits and pieces of paper with me everywhere i went since i didn’t have my own computer and was using public ones at ucla (oh and also to learn html). now, though, i have my own computer and i know html like nobody’s business. and this site has turned into a blog. not that that’s bad, but i’m not sure that’s what i really want, not only for privacy issues.. i’m just not sure how private i want to be, am i too ‘public’ already, will future employers reject me because of this website, does it matter that no one (besides a few stalwart folks, you know who you are) ever post a comment, that i mix knitting posts with library posts with pretty private emotional posts with pics of my mom with blah blah blah.. so, you see, a lot of questions. .. boh.