i love this place

[written 10/30/06]

it’s amazing how echoes can change the feel of a place. i woke up this morning, not recognizing where i was, despite the familiar feel of the raspy spring-sprung sofa against my cheek… my apartment just sounds empty and it feels like what i knew of it, what i’d made of it for sure, is irrevocably gone. like it never was. i like to think though that these walls and floors and windows have absorbed the living i have done in it over the past three and a half years – the good and the bad, the heartbreak and the crazy happy joy and laughter. ah. too many emotions ~ and now, it’s in this half-state that just makes my heart ache to see and, surprisingly, hear the changes, the finality of it all.

of course, i’m so excited about going to maryland ~ and so grateful of friends and family that have helped me this past week, especially last night during my goodbye-party-turned-moving-party ~ but this goodbye just chokes me up. like with any friendship, there’s no real way to convey the depth of feelings so it’s best to leave with a good warm hug and a big smile, right? except, how do you hug an apartment? silly me.