recent observations

[written 11/23/06]

~ i’m the tenth listing for tofurky on google image. ;) had it two years ago tomorrow – it was a very tasty meal and i have really sweet memories from the dinner to boot. btw, that’s a (delicious) quiche pictured with it, not pizza.

~ it’s been raining non-stop today and looks to be the same tomorrow. i drove around in a pickup with the rear cloth cover flapping and snapping in the wind. l.a. was depressing with all its homeless animals scrounging for food, dodging cars, and hopefully following a random stranger once in a while, but i forgot how sad it can be here, seeing all the dead deer, raccoons, fox, and more on side of the streets. it’s a scary time for animals on the edge of rural/suburban maryland.

~ my nephew is so much less old-man looking just a week after being born. and his sisters are shooting up as well in just the few weeks i’ve been here – is that possible? they’re growing up so fast, sniff.

~ no matter what, moving from living alone to living with people definitely required an adjustment. i leave notes now, talk on the phone much more than i used to, and generally consult others every day at least a few times. i remember entire days in l.a. – some very happy, some very not – where i wouldn’t say a single word to anyone so much so that when i spoke, my voice would be squeaky and/or i’d surprise myself hearing a voice. now, throw in the whole family/living with the parents/etc thing, and it just adds more, um, spice.

~ i miss you l.a.! i don’t know when i’ll stop believing in my gut, in my heart, in my dreams, that my apartment is no longer mine. maybe if i saw it empty, that would be different. i still feel very much like a visitor, on a looong vacation. when i came back from an exchange student program to sicily in high school, i remember closing my eyes over and over again and remembering the details of the shower/tub i’d had there, so perfectly that i could almost reach my hand out and touch the walls. for years, that’s been my trick, through college and on – for some reason, it’s connected to showers ;) anyhow, i keep doing that now, imagining opening my eyes and seeing the green curtain covering the window, the see-through shower curtain with trouble sitting just beyond, staring, fascinated by my water immersion. the water pressure in my l.a. shower was phenomenal. too much to miss that still feels more real than my life now.

~ i’m laughing a lot with my mom – somewhat unexpected and very very enjoyable. my sister claudi is visiting for all of twenty hours, so it’s an early wake-up tomorrow to maximize hang out time, combined with big cooking responsibilities. i’m making deborah madison’s winter squash tart – and am nervous about the crust.

~ oh, and thanksgiving itself? still not a fan. i like the food, i like the family ;), i have a lot to be thankful for, but the whole prilgrims-and-indians thing? untrue & depressing.

so much more to post ~ but for now, there’s what been going on with me. hope you have a relaxing and delicious day tomorrow, filled with good food and good company.