rambling thoughts

[written 11/05/11]

~ just finished cleaning out my ravelry queue, from 160+ patterns to under 40. woohoooo. and i even tagged all my favorited patterns for future reference. feeling quite accomplished.

~ there’s nothing like seeing a sweet gummy smile thrown your way every single time you play with your baby. also, every sound coming out of her is a cause for smiles or cheers on my part. except when it’s 3 am and i’m a tad grumpy. but even then, really, i should cheer.

~ since her birth, i can’t stand to hear or read about violence done to babies. makes me want to cry and scream. always sounded over-the-top when i’d hear people say that (“sure, sure, we all love babies, but really..”). i get it now.

~ i love a steady rain, as it has been doing several days now. it does make laundry a bit difficult when one’s drying is done one a line. still, everything is so green and lush, it doesn’t feel like november at all.

~ in less than two weeks we’ll be in the u.s. for a handful of days and then on to bolivia, where there’s so much to do, my head spins. spring just started there, and the rainy season kicks in soon.

~ daydreaming every day about what our house will be like. already have imagined most of the rooms and garden (!) area. cannot wait for reality.

~ supposedly nowadays it’s sooo easy to keep in touch with people, but like most things with new technology that are supposed to change “everything!!!”, people and relationships and so on remain the same. and i don’t think it’s just me.

~ i love my family very much, but it’s true, once you start your own family, they slide into second place. i wonder how much harder that would be for me if i were around them more and if my dad was still alive.

~ as long as (enormous, like thumb-sized, and flying!) cockroaches and (hand-sized) spiders stay in their part of the house at night (i.e. not anywhere near my hair, face, body really, or baby), i’m fine with them. they come with the territory of living out in the country, i get that. they were here long before me and will remain long after. so.

~ generally, i pack way too much stuff to travel. i’ve traveled lightly before and it felt so great. now with a baby involved, all the more reason to pack little. learn your lesson!

~ miso soup is not very hard to make, is delicious, and allows for a ton of things to be added to it, like potato. bolivia and japan meet up!

~ it’s pretty amazing being around someone who didn’t exist a year ago but today makes you feel that you are the most clever of humans. everything i do delights her. except when it doesn’t..

~ baby’s can be remarkably neutral. like i’ll dance a little jig in front of her and if she’s not in the mood, she’ll practically yawn and look away, or not even react, just stare at me. and then i’ll sigh and she’ll break out laughing. ..keeps you on your toes.

~ i am still afraid of the dark. most of the time, i calm myself down by either saying sternly “you are a mother now! behave yourself.” or i reason, “B will rescue me if i cry out as the ghouls drag me away.” and it works. i still move quick but without the tiny shrieks. mostly.

~ if baby is sleeping and you wake her.. rrrrrrraooooowwwww! beware the wrath of a mother who hasn’t slept more than four hours straight in six+ months. $^@&!*&!!!