I Coulda

at that stage where i think, ‘well, in another lifetime i would have been..’ and there is no real regret or sadness, just a realization that there is finite time and space and energy and i took the other road, etc etc. still, a list to contemplate from time to time to see if i can incorporate aspects of it into life:


so, a week ago, i got a new laptop. it’s windows. what a bizarre new world.

my first computer, at age 14ish, was a black-and-white macintosh se. we got it a few months before the first color macs came out and i remember discussing with my dad whether we should wait. we both agreed we shouldn’t lol. (such a great dad.) i think we got it at radio shack, and i distinctly remember holding the prodigy cd in my hand as the salesperson explained what a modem was. i loved prodigy - i joined a bunch of anne mccaffrey’s fandom groups and i would explore all the parts of the prodigy portal. i had no idea about usenet or anything beyond the prodigy world, but it was super exciting to dial-up, connect, and poke around here and there. oh! and i went tetris crazy. we had a king’s quest that was way too slow compared to our wonderful little nintendo, but tetris was so addictive and fun. i would dream at night in tetris sometimes.

then, starting college, i got my first laptop. it was a gateway with windows on it. i changed my cursor to a running dog and played too many hours of minesweeper on it while listening to italian dance music and r&b on my boombox. i would help people in my dorm with computer stuff sometimes and then i took a computer class at school in junior year that made me think, oh, i should have at least minored in computer science, ah well. i remember thinking that coding was just like learning another language and i was good at languages.