plans big and small

26 Mar 2007 in journal

ah, my birthday month is almost over. in the future, i’ll remember this month as the month i finally started to make plans again. see, after college – and after an unhappy and stressed out senior year, where i just barely graduated thanks to an understanding professor – i headed out to the west coast and was determined, i remember, to not make any plans further than a month out. at the time, the idea was that i’d been a student for so long, with whole years marked out and planned way in advance, that finally, i clearly really really needed a break. and that’s what i did. i took about three years, making no plans and just following my interests. i felt lost and bewildered at times, sure, and wow, was it hard to get across to people why this was important for me to do and what it was i was doing, but looking back.. those were some awesome years. i learned a lot and explored so much and ah, sometimes i think “glory days”? ack, i hope not – i want them ahead of me, always elusively around the corner. anyhow.

fast forward to today, or the near past, i graduate from library school, and yup, once again, i have absolutely no wish to start planning. i think almost all of my classmates jumped straight into careers, which i’m kinda envious of. i know this whole not-working thing is a luxury that a lot of people don’t have – i know, i’m lucky – but i’ve also made choices that help that luck along a little bit at least, like no kids, no mortgage, no car payments even, just cats. anyhow, i’m digressing, my point is that i basically came back to maryland because a while back, when starting library school, i promised my family i’d return after school was over, and so i did. beyond the fulfillment of that promise-made-years-ago, i haven’t made any real life plans (i.e. long term plans) since early 2006. i’ve daydreamed like anyone else, but there’s been no real substance.. i’m so jinxing myself, but oh well: this month, finally, some plans. they’re just little tentative dust bunnies in the corners of my mind, but you know how those tend to accumulate and grow.. well, we’ll see, we’ll see.

and the geography part of the plans is still totally up in the air, but hey, at least i’m actively participating in where my life goes again, rather than letting old promises (that i’m mostly glad i kept, don’t worry) and even older habits lead the way. that’s progress. for someone who tends to think micro and forget about the macro, that’s all the more progress. along with this comes getting involved in the world immediately around me a bit, i.e. taking classes, going to shows and conferences, researching local places, volunteering, etc. i like that part a lot, but oh it can’t be forced.

..and because i like to throw in some fun randomness along with the melodrama, here’s me letterpressing last week (with some pics on the side as well):

i was all blushing in the video, and nervous smiley in the beginning, but doesn’t it look like fun? .. i missed my latest class today because i got lost on the beltway (the highway that circles d.c.) and ended up on a lovely highway-tour of northeastern d.c. and northern virginia. argh. [btw, if you have trouble seeing the video above, try here]

i’m thinking a lot of posts this last week of march – one a day. can i do it? and why? for one, why not. for two, oh there’s too much that i planned and yet pussyfooted around, so i gotta squeeze them in before march ends. there will be more basket stuff (glad you all liked that), a FO or two or three, and some new projects, plus lots more me-me-me, you know. then, hopefully, april will start clean and fresh.

to make this even longer – hey knitters, have you checked out lauren’s recent posts? there’s some interesting discussion going on in the comments regarding IK and the new changes going on.