phew!

27 Feb 2004 in journal

i am exhausted to the point that i feel like whenever i try and speak with anyone, what really comes out is a gibbering rant with constant head shaking and dizzy smiles. i remember vacya’s mom telling me once that she used to pull all-nighters when she was in grad school and her two sons were little tots but she knew that she just couldn’t do it now. that there was a definite point in her life when she could pull all-nighters and then something changed and now she just can’t. well, whatever causes that line to be drawn, i’m teetering on the edge of it. last night was the hardest single all-nighter i can ever remember pulling.

now, for those who knew me at bryn mawr, there were times when i was overwhelmingly exhausted, even more than right now, but that was after several night in a row of all-nighters. sigh. i’m getting older. and i like the grey hairs (of which i probably have a dozen or so! ay!) and i like feeling responsible and respectful and stuff. but i don’t like creaking knees or backs (which i sometimes get) or receiving funny looks because i remember watching yogi bear and hogan’s heros after school. and now, to that sad silly list, i can add the (almost) inability to pull all-nighters.

i have a short-ish paper due monday and a test on monday but at least that’s still more than 48 hours away.

nonetheless, life is sweet right now and i’m really trying to stop and appreciate where i am in life.

~andrea

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