last night, as i was trying to go to sleep, this idea just popped in my brain and i couldn’t go to sleep till i had thought about it for a while. frustrating, but oh-so-narcissistic. the thing is, with just two exceptions, i don’t think i can ever be friends with anyone named andrea who pronounces it differently than the way i do. (un-drey-ah, with only a slight emphasis on the middle syllable. though really, in my head, i think i call myself ahn-drrrei-ah, with a rolled r, you know, spanish-style.)

anyhow, unless you have a really common name like john or sarah, then i think it’s usally hard to be friends with people who have the same name as you. it happens, but it’s rare. this applies all the more to couples- i’ve never heard of a female alex and a male alex dating, or seen “jesse loves jesse” written anywhere, irregardless of gender. (unfortunately, i have seen cutsie couple-names like “ben and jen” (bennifer?) and i know a couple named jose and josefa. ay. if i ever meet an andre and fall in love with him, i’ll scream my head off at the idea of being “andrea and andre” — alliteration gone mad.)

so, i have met probably half a dozen or so andreas in my life so far. i remember in elementary school being slightly shocked and indignant that an older sister of one of my classmates was named andrea, the first other-andrea i’d met. and she pronounced it in, i’m sorry to say, i think the ugliest way the name can be pronounced: nasally. ann-dree-ah, as in “andrea” from 90210? yuck. needless to say, i think she felt the same weirdness about me being named andrea and, also, for pronouncing it, to her mind, in some weird god-forsaken way. since then, in all honesty, i’ve learned that, at least for all us andreas out there, we tend to stay away from each other.

ok, in the beginning of this silly rant, i said there were two exceptions for not befriending other andreas. they come in two groups: 1) foreigners, who usually tend to be male, and 2) friends of friends that i must socially see from time to time. so the second exception is clear. my little sisters had a best friend for the longest time named andrea and i felt fine with her, largely because my sisters loved her so. (and still do, if she reads this.) also, i only saw her at my family functions so i was hands-down/obviously the central andrea there. (it is all about ego, isn’t it? tsk tsk tsk, i know.) the first exception makes me shiiver with fear: is this my future? fall in love with some italian or german male andrea and then bamm! for life it’s “oh, let’s invite that andrea and andrea over for dinner… oh on second thought, it weirds me out that they’re a couple, never mind.”.. i mean, it almost reads like some distilled echo of incest. not to make light of incest, but am i right or am i right?

(quick note: sorry if my writing is getting annoying, but i’m enjoying myself and will probably heavily edit this later.)
there are three andreas, including me, in my mlis program at ucla. i haven’t spoken more than five words to either of the other two. i haven’t the foggiest idea about them and i’m sure they’re both really nice women, but like i said, it’s just too weird. and they both pronounce their name.. well, badly, i think. i can’t help it.
one interesting note: unlike many names in the english, there is no song entitled “andrea”, much less pronounced the right way. but there is the fabulous “valley girl” by frank zappa (which vacya introduced me to, laughing the whole time he played it for me..) where frank zappa’s daughter moon unit (i think) is talking, like, all val talk, and her name in the song is ‘ohn-dree-ah’ and it cracks me up and i love it. (plus the bass is sweet.)
so there’s the thought that kept me up a good twenty minutes past my bedtime… anything to not be sad (and if i stop to let myself think about sadness, i just freeze up and feel my heart just drop to my shoes so nope nope keep talking and writing and wrestling with every silly concept that comes to your mind… yes. i am insane.)
tonight i will be eating meat. i think. my cousins yann pablo and yashira are cooking me a delicious bolivian meal called ‘silpancho’ which i last ate about eight months ago, which was the last time i ate meat. last time, i literally felt drunk right after eating it (i called it ‘meat-drunk’, which sounds nasty, but felt like a mildly-strong buzz.)

~ andrea

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